Moving in with a new partner to save on rent? The very unsexy talks you need to have first
Rents are high, grocery costs are through the roof, and many couples are moving in together early in their relationships for a practical reason — survival economics. Being single is bloody expensive right now.
Shacking up before you’ve even met the parents can absolutely help you save on rent, utilities, streaming services and food. But while sharing a space may seem like a simple solution to rising costs, sharing financial commitments is where problems begin.
What happens if things fall apart in the relationship just as fast as they came together?
What happens when there isn’t clarity around who’s responsible for what?
And what happens with the many hundreds (sometimes thousands) of dollars that you’ll both be saving now that you’ve combined your living arrangements?
Before signing a lease, or worse, a mortgage, walk through this money checklist to protect your finances and give your relationship a fighting chance.
Start with complete financial transparency
Before you talk furniture or paint colours, talk money. Each partner should disclose their income (amount and sources), debts (credit cards, student loans, car loans), credit scores and spending habits. Talk about the home you ultimately want and if you think you can afford it.
This is not a romantic conversation, but it is a necessary one. Financial resentment is one of the fastest ways relationships deteriorate. If one partner is quietly carrying debt, at risk of losing their job or living pay cheque to pay cheque, the other needs to know before you tie your housing stability together.
Build a shared budget before moving in
Saving money as a couple doesn’t just happen automatically. Without planning, boundaries and respect, you can replace rent stress with relationship stress. Joint budgeting is part of the solution. This does not mean joining your banking — please don’t do that! At least not before you’re fully committed, and are married or officially common law (meaning you’ve ticked off those boxes with the CRA).
Get started with a free budget template you can collaborate on. List all shared costs like your rent or mortgage, utilities, internet, groceries, insurance, parking or transportation, etc. Be super clear on what you won’t share (these costs need to go into your own independent budget templates). Discuss how you’ll split expenses; 50/50 might work, but is not always fair. A proportional split based on income often prevents resentment and ensures each partner is carrying an appropriate financial load for their income.
Budgeting together also assists in understanding what you can afford. If you’re hunting for a new place you can pinpoint the ideal amount to spend, and what options for location and housing type fits your joint budget. It’ll reveal just how much you’ll both save with this new arrangement. Talk through if you want to build up an emergency fund together for housing-related emergencies. It’s wise to build an independent “me” fund, too, especially if you break up and must move out.
Go one step further and track spending weekly once you’re moved in. Many couples now use apps or AI-assisted budgeting tools to identify patterns like overspending on takeout before it becomes a monthly problem.
Decide how bills will be paid and whose name will go on them
Confusion causes missed payments, and missed payments damage credit scores. Will one person pay the bills and get reimbursed? Will each person take on specific bills? Will you have a shared household account where each partner contributes an agreed-upon monthly amount and all shared expenses come from it? It’s important you both build credit in this process, and therefore have some bills (credit card, cellphone or internet bills) in your own names.
Who is signing the lease? This matters more than most couples realize. If only one person signs, that person is legally responsible for the entire rent. If a breakup occurs, the landlord will not care about your relationship agreement, only the contract. So, whenever possible, have both names on the lease and understand the length of the lease term, the penalties for breaking it, eviction rules and more.
How would you like to hold each other accountable to ensure the household expenses all get paid? A weekly money meeting might be a good idea, especially at first.
You’re doing this to save money, so what’s the plan with all that money?
Moving in together early is usually about building financial momentum, like saving for a down payment, reducing debt, lowering living costs, and investing more for your future. Talk about where the savings go, and know that it’s OK to have goals on the go together (down payment, travel, wedding) and individually (paying off credit cards, making RRSP contributions, etc.).
Without a plan for the savings, it can get gobbled up by lifestyle spending.
If you’re rushing to move in, avoid co-signing personal debts, combining all accounts and sharing credit cards too early. You’re still getting to know each other.
This article was originally published in The Star. Lesley-Anne Scorgie is a Toronto-based personal finance columnist and a freelance contributing columnist for the Star.
